she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
