There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
