i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
