He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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