the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
