And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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