Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
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