I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
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I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
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I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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