I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
