so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
