I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
