Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
