got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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