You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
