My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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