just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
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Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
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She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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