roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
