we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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