i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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