Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
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Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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