why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
