i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
