Can Purell be used as lube?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
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