I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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