is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
