Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
