I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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