'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
