can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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