ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
