Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
