I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
