I wish I could punch you in the face.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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