I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
