i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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