glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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