I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
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