Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
