but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
