My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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