wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize