I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
