More tranny stories later!
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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