Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
The air was thick with penises
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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