Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
