so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize