Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
