His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
