normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
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new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
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Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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