Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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