Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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