some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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