did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
