Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
