I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
