Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
