I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
