how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I can text with my tongue
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're making bets on your personal life
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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