Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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